Amazon now lists sandwiches that have a three-year shelf life.  From the product description:

One Each. Honey Barbecue Beef 290 Calories. Honey Barbecue Chicken 290 Calories. Pepperoni 270 Calories. Italian Style (Sausage, Pepperoni and Sauce) 320 Calories. Bacon Cheddar 330 Calories. Sandwich was designed to be eaten straight from pouch; simply tear the pouch open at tear notches, remove the sandwich and eat. The sandwich may also be heated using one of the following methods: MRE/FLAMELESS HEATER: Place unopened pouch in MRE/Flameless Heater and follow the MRE/Flameless Heater heating directions.

If they can make a sandwich that lasts three years, why can’t they make it with no calories?

Anyway, I’d be interested to see one of those MRE/Flameless Heaters.

And I’m actually tempted to order a packet of these long-lived sandwiches, just to see what such a thing tastes like.  Got any plans for lunch in 2013?