I was greatly amused by a list of English Teachers’ awards for best student metaphors/analogies, allegedly
found in actual student papers.  Some of these made me laugh out loud, so I’ve named my awards.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.  —  M.C. Escher Recursive Analogy Award

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. — Zen Analogy Award

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn’t.  — Quantum Metaphor Memorial Award

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.   — Award for Best Canine Disphony (“ABCD Award”)

More at https://plus.google.com/100612175927429294541/posts/c6MWreA6TB6