Amusing


Sam Houston once jokingly described James K. Polk as a “victim of the use of water as a beverage” (Quoted in De Bruhl 1993, 131)

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More wonderfully bad analogies:

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at
4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East
River.

I was greatly amused by a list of English Teachers’ awards for best student metaphors/analogies, allegedly
found in actual student papers.  Some of these made me laugh out loud, so I’ve named my awards.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.  —  M.C. Escher Recursive Analogy Award

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. — Zen Analogy Award

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn’t.  — Quantum Metaphor Memorial Award

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.   — Award for Best Canine Disphony (“ABCD Award”)

More at https://plus.google.com/100612175927429294541/posts/c6MWreA6TB6

In at least one respect, Social Security is even worse than a traditional Ponzi scheme:

 

 

For my friend, Beth Massey:

I cannot omit a rather childish story which Vasari tells about the David. After it had been placed upon its pedestal before the palace, and while the scaffolding was still there, Piero Soderini, who loved and admired Michelangelo, told him that he thought the nose too large. The sculptor immediately ran up the ladder till he reached a point upon the level of the giant’s shoulder. He then took his hammer and chisel, and, having concealed some dust of marble in the hollow of his hand, pretended to work off a portion from the surface of the nose. In reality he left it as he found it; but Soderini, seeing the marble dust fall scattering through the air, thought that his hint had been taken. When, therefore, Michelangelo called down to him, ‘Look at it now!’ Soderini shouted up in reply, ‘I am far more pleased with it; you have given life to the statue.’

– John Addington Symonds, The Life of Michelangelo Buonarroti, 1893

That’s too good not to be true.

Switzerland’s new “Anti PowerPoint Party” (APPP) claims that PowerPoint sucks the creativity, spontaneity and audience interest out of any given topic. “If you do a PowerPoint presentation and it goes well, in 95 out of 100 cases if you do it without PowerPoint, the version without PowerPoint will beat it,” said Matthias Poehm, the president of the APPP, in a not very exciting video presentation.

He has a lot of unverifiable statistics to back him up. By assuming that across Europe, 11% of the 296 million employees are being subjected to twice-weekly PowerPoint presentations, Mr. Poehm calculates that lost productivity due to PowerPoint amounts to €110 billion per annum.

You’ve gotta love those Swiss!

Via http://blogs.wsj.com/tech-europe/2011/07/08/swiss-party-campaigns-against-powerpoint/?mod=google_news_blog

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